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New Normal

January 11, 2015

After all the chaos of last autumn, it has been a pleasure to answer the “How are you feeling?” questions with, “Actually, not so bad!”  For those who really want to know, feeling “fine” is just not gonna happen for me.  There is always pain, there is always some limit that keeps me from doing what I used to be able to do, and there is always a sense of loss.  I’m pretty OK with that.  Always being reminded about what I’ve lost keeps me grateful for what I still have.

I’m ecstatic to report that I am no longer taking any steroids.  WooHoo!!!! Party!!!!  If you’ve never lived on high doses of prednisone, you have no idea how exciting this is.  I was considering trying to wean off some pain medication this week, but apparently today is not the day to stop sniffing glue (sorry for the Airplane! reference).  The winter weather in New York hates me and today’s word of the day is “Ow.”

I ran into a new limit this morning in church.  Every minute or two during the sermon, I would turn to my husband and ask him to repeat what the pastor said.  “Did Pastor just say ‘Ron Perlman?'”  “No.”  “Did Pastor just say ‘My Sharona?'”  “No.”  Eventually, I quit bothering my husband and just accepted that my ears were no friends of mine.  Maybe I’ll change the word of the day to “Huh?”  I guess my to-do list now includes “Get Hearing Tested.”  Until then, I think I might have to try the sound-assistance devices that the church offers.  I’m not ecstatic at the prospect, but it’s really not a big deal compared to what I just dealt with last autumn.

The adventure continues!



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